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I am a "Non-Understander"

       8 AM ...My anger has faded away. Now its sadness. Its almost like I’ve accepted everything that’s happened…I think I have? It was like the world was falling apart all around me and out of control. Everything was high speed. Now its like everything is in slow motion and in a state of confusion. In a sense it still is but now its manageable …There is nothing I can do to help her and I feel so helpless. Its not easy to see someone you love in such horrible condition. The hospital has decided to keep her there for a few more days, thank God. ….This morning I will go to see her.

      8 PM.... I’m on the down slide of a minor depression after seeing her today…She keeps asking for God to help her…You would think after all the years of going to Church faithfully and all these years and living a life of honesty and kindness, God would have mercy on this woman whom nearly devoted her life to him…Its no wonder that there are non-under standers and non-believers. I’m finding very hard to keep the faith as they say. I left after about a hour. She didn’t know I was there . I am really sad now….I need to go talk to somebody…….

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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 9th, 2009 04:54 am (UTC)
I know how you feel. I really really do. If you want to talk, just let me know.

May. 10th, 2009 12:47 am (UTC)
God does hear her and he knows her suffering. Just because he doesn't heal her, does not mean he doesn't love her. It might just be her time. I know that sounds bad, but having faith is leaving things like this up to Him and letting him have control.
Keep looking up is something I always try to remember when things aren't going to great! I'm praying for you!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


L.J. Ferrari

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