8 AM ...My anger has faded away. Now its sadness. Its almost like I’ve accepted everything that’s happened…I think I have? It was like the world was falling apart all around me and out of control. Everything was high speed. Now its like everything is in slow motion and in a state of confusion. In a sense it still is but now its manageable …There is nothing I can do to help her and I feel so helpless. Its not easy to see someone you love in such horrible condition. The hospital has decided to keep her there for a few more days, thank God. ….This morning I will go to see her.
8 PM.... I’m on the down slide of a minor depression after seeing her today…She keeps asking for God to help her…You would think after all the years of going to Church faithfully and all these years and living a life of honesty and kindness, God would have mercy on this woman whom nearly devoted her life to him…Its no wonder that there are non-under standers and non-believers. I’m finding very hard to keep the faith as they say. I left after about a hour. She didn’t know I was there . I am really sad now….I need to go talk to somebody…….