January 2nd, 2019

"Never Go Back"

I wrote this a while ago.. Its somewhat intense..

Not to long ago at one time I was a little kid.. We all were kids.. I miss back then.. I was small. Innocent…. Now, years later there is a feeling of loneliness and I miss things.. I miss the old town I lived in, the people, my friends. Lately I have discovered you can visit but you can never go back.. You can go back to the town but everything is changed. The buildings are gone. It seems like things changed over night. It even smells different… I’m at an age now where you start thinking about genes and health.. I’m so blessed when it comes to that.. It seems like yesterday that I was going to the Catholic school in my little town.. I remember that like it was yesterday… We try to hang on to what we can but it still changes. The people we knew, our parents the material things. Everything changes. The older you get the time moves faster and faster. Now it seems you don’t have time to enjoy a moment anymore. You put up imaginary fences and walls to keep out the bad guys and thoughts but some manage to slither through.. These days its hard to tell the difference between the good and the bad. There are a lots of innocents that will never be the same again. I do everything I can to live and let live but I have a compassion for those who I know will never be able to live, what I consider normal life. They will never have what I had and still have… At times I worry but under the surface there is a peace and understanding, a subtle happiness that I have earned through the years.. That I will never lose.. I wait now with a content and a comfortable feeling to be voided out..
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