September 29th, 2010

"Isolating"

I usually go up North to visit today but lately I have been going through this, I don’t feel like doing anything phase. This phase involves isolating, not wanting to do anything and a bad mood. There are a lot of things that cause this and they all seem to be happening to me at once or started to happen a month or so ago. Its like it never ends there is always something…I’m not alone. I’m back to thinking about the people who are not as fortunate as me…by writing this down I remember it’s all NOT about me and its time for me to help someone else….I was talking to some people and it seems that this is the time of year that stuff like this happens…It has to do with the change of seasons, realizing this is the worst time of the year for me. Heat, high humidity then cold, rain and worst of all no sun…Now its another huge storm coming tomorrow. Its even worse now because of global warming….What seems to be happening is the turbulent weather is here a lot longer than it was..The storms are more intense than they were. Tornados and heavy wind being the most destructive and becoming commonplace. With me I realize that its not being able to do anything about it and nobody else will. It’s a trapped feeling. Its like I can see and feel the world falling apart, see that no one cares and won’t do anything to fix it. When someone does say they are working to fix things it turns out to be a lie.. A lot of people don’t know this and its worse for them. Or do know and are very angry. A lot of people are just really angry about everything going on in this country. I can feel it everywhere. You used to be able to say, if you don’t like what’s happening. Vote! Now it doesn’t matter, no matter who you vote for they all lie and it seems they are only running for office for self-interest. Its like ”The people“, (we) don’t count. They don’t respect themselves and show it by digging up dirt on each other and saying “I approve of this message”. Do you really think they will respect you? Don’t hold your breath! They don’t care about you…I have that feeling that everything is out of control. We have laws in this country that are ignored and when the people protest they are arrested. Its like choosing what laws to enforce or not. Is that self interest? Sounds like it to me…The thing is, Washington knows what is wrong but won’t do anything about it… My birthday yesterday was uneventful and I’m glad that part of it is over. Thank you everyone for your birthday wishes. It did help and I will be out of this place I’m in, soon I hope…