April 3rd, 2010

"Father and Sons"

        I don’t know what was going on yesterday but it seemed as though every where I went people were angry, or in a hurry. Not just hurry, hurry but grouchy hurry, like, get out my way hurry…I thought it was just me but it wasn’t. It was like people were on edge…..My Dad used to say that…”On edge”. It was a beautiful day and I wore my “Tony Hawk” shorts with a short sleeve shirt… Maybe it was the pre-Easter blues….It could be because basements are flooded with water. Its like every third house I ride by on my bike has a hose coming out of the basement. Maybe, I don’t know, it could be Easter things are expensive for people with kids. It could be there will be a full moon soon… Like I said, It was weird, strange and unusual for everyone to be like this. It was like a bad Zombie movie. For me, I just wondered what was going on? I went for a bike ride in the afternoon. It was still cool but pleasant…I ride near the water so its to be expected….The good news is my friend is coming down this afternoon and when I heard that, it made my day… So it will be a long walk on the beach as usual except the temperature is suppose to be 80 degrees. Then dinner some where. That will be my Easter dinner now that Mom is gone…That’s OK although the Easter dinner at Moms was nice because I got to see my Brothers side of the family with all the new babies…I love that stuff. My side of the family is that my sons don’t care about their Dad. That’s true, sometimes I don’t believe it myself. Its pitiful and I really feel sorry for them…The emptiness and the feeling of pretending that I don’t exist must decaying something inside of them…I have seen this before in other families and I feel the future is filled with sadness and is bleak for the two disrespectful ones…I am their Dad and that will never change….They can try to forget me they may be able to for a while but they have my blood….I know what they think before they think it. They even kind of look like me and have some of my mannerisms and habits. They don’t realize that what goes around comes around. My third son, he’s the youngest, is the one I visit. We are best friends and get along great….I don’t say too much about the other two morons because its all on them….Later, when the bell tolls it will be too late…..I know that I loved my Dad and I am so glad I had the privilege and honor of taking care of him in his last days…..Its something I will cherish and I’ll never forget…Even today I feel him near me suggesting what’s right and what’s wrong and I need that comfort and kindness. To have that is priceless. To have lost that is unthinkable…..It must horrible for them on Fathers day and that’s really sad...............